So, I just relapsed…

Recovering from an addiction is difficult. One of the most difficult aspects of addiction recovery is the seeming inevitability of slips and relapses. Loss of sobriety does not necessitate losing your hope that lasting change can take place. What if our slips and relapses could provide something for us? We may be powerless to our...

Boundaries with My Husband

Over 10 years ago I learned of my husband’s addiction to porn and sex.  I had no idea this was something he was struggling with.  Obviously, this completely devastated me and left me feeling like everything in my life was completely out of control.  As we started seeing a therapist and I joined a support...

Emotions and the Feeling Wheel

A question I ask (and get asked) a lot is, “How are you feeling?” I remember once when I asked this question to a guy that we will call Zach. After he completed a lengthy Step 4 inventory, I asked, “Zach, how do you feel?” He said, “I feel fine. To be honest, I’ve always...

Recovery: A Spouse’s Experience, part 3 – What Life is Like Now

As this is published (in the Fall of 2018), my husband and I have been in recovery for over a year now. If you had told me then what my life would look like today, I wouldn’t have believed...

Recovery: A Spouse’s Experience, part 2 – The Road to Recovery

The sickening reality of betrayal can feel hopeless. After years of living in fear and anxiety, connected to my husband’s addiction, I became exhausted. I just couldn’t do it...

Recovery: A Spouse’s Experience, part 1 – What Life Was Like

What happened with my husband’s addiction was painful, hard, and unfair. My story may look and sound different than another person’s—circumstances can vary slightly or...

What Makes Something Better…

“People don’t need just sympathy, and shaming never helped anyone. However, empathy is the full embodiment of truth and compassion, and helps heal hurting hearts.” -Mike Foster, People of the Second...

Going to Jesus with My Desires (Jane DoE)

I am literally sitting here, in front of my computer, trying to get every last bit of freshly baked muffin off of the wrapper while I sip my coffee and try to put into words the frustration, anger, sadness and hopelessness it is to be me right...

The Keys to the Candy Store, Part 2

In our last post we began looking at the unintentional damage that takes place in many pastors’ offices, when wives of porn/sex addicts are encouraged that their husbands’ problems might get better if only they were more sexually available. The first two things ministry leaders who counsel couples need to understand about sexual...

The Keys to the Candy Store, part 1

Pastors, please stop telling wives of porn/sex addicts to have more sex with their husbands....

How to Talk to Your Kids About Porn

Our friend Sandy Pepin has written a post for her blog (www.crookedhousewife.com) on talking to your kids about pornography. It’s a great article, and we wanted to make sure more people saw...

It’s The Most Triggering Time of the Year

Christmas is a great time of the year. In fact, some might say (or sing) that it’s the most wonderful time of the year. You know, jingle-belling, mistle-toeing, etc. It’s...