I’m a spouse who’s just found out

I’ve found out about my spouse’s porn/sex problem.

How could this have happened?”
“What did I do to drive him to this?”
“I feel like I can’t breathe. This is too much.”
“Should I get a divorce?”
“I don’t know if I can ever get over this.”
“How am I just going to get through today?”

Helping Spouses

We’re so sorry for what you’re going through. One of the most difficult experiences anyone can ever go through is the discovery that your spouse has betrayed you. You probably have a thousand questions. Why did this happen? How could I not have known? What am I supposed to do now? What could I have done differently to prevent this? What’s wrong with me?

Although there’s no easy way to get through what has happened, what we want you to know right off the bat is this. It’s not your fault, you could not have prevented this, and things won’t always feel like they do now. The roots of your spouse’s problem with porn and/or misuse of sex go deep and likely preceded your relationship. He (or she) needs to seek help for their problem, but you need help as well. The experience of betrayal is incredibly difficult to move beyond, and even more so if you try to do it alone.

The greatest need you have right now is for God to work healing and grace in your broken heart. Even though your situation may make you feel like God is far away, He is here and wants to provide you with the healing you need.

How We Can Help With Healing:

There are real and tangible ways in which God works this healing. These include counseling and finding safe, supportive community. If you are in the Birmingham, Alabama area we can help you connect with both. We offer support group community and have relationships with many excellent therapists who are specifically equipped to help you process what has happened. If you are not in our area, we can still help identify people near where you live who can help you.

Click below to discover ways in which we can help

Step 1: Get Help

You don’t need to try and handle this on your own. The trauma you’re experiencing is intense and can be overwhelming. We want to help you find a counselor who can provide you with the immediate help you need now.

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Step 2: Connect to Community

We were not created to walk through difficult times alone. You need a community of safe people who understand and can encourage you as you begin to heal and recover. Let us help you get connected.

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Step 3: Get Informed

Although we strongly encourage you to look into Steps 1-2 first, there are many resources that can help you better understand infidelity, betrayal, and sexual addiction. Click here for more information.

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